Empty nest…

It’s been a week now since my youngest left home. He had a chance to move in with a friend that just recently lost one of her room mates, and the price was perfect. He figured he would have a chance to live away from home and see how making rent and utility payments would be without having to do it all on his own. He had been talking about moving to Colorado, and I casually mentioned the fact that he had never lived away from home and wasn’t used to paying bills and managing his finances. I’m hoping this goes well, because he has been my one stubborn child, never wanting or allowing help. He always thought he could “do it” on his own. I’m having faith!! This vacancy happened at just the right time, and he seems to be very happy.  I’ll be happy as long as he pays me his car insurance and phone bill each month. I’m trying very hard to be cool and not bug him when I see how often he’s out with his friends, at restaurants and bars. (I keep track on Facebook).

I’m finding that I’m handling the “Empty Nest Syndrome” very well. As long as there are cell phones and Skype, so I can text, call or see them anytime I want, I can then survive until the next time I can see them in the flesh. Even when they were all living here, they seemed to be gone more than they were home, either at work, school, or out with friends.

Maybe someday, we will live within driving distance, short driving distance. Close enough to be able to get together for special times without having to make a flight reservation. At least they are all happy, healthy and doing fine.

Easter…

Kira is coming home for a visit this Easter! Yey!! David has been working very hard on the basement, but he is only one person, so it’s taking a while to get done. He’s almost got all of the electrical work finished so he can get it inspected. He has to run some water pipes to the tub and sink and get them inspected, then it should be smooth sailing from there to the finish. Putting up insulation and sheetrock will be a snap, especially if we can entice some strong young men to help out. (a little beer, a little food, OK, a LOT of beer and a LOT of food should do it) I’m taking charge of tiling the bathroom…can’t wait, it’s going to be soooo cool!  We found 50’s style light fixtures to hang next to the 50’s medicine chest that goes with our blue 50’s tub, toilet and wall hung sink. I bought metal legs with attached towel bars for the sink.

I found really cool hanging lights for the bed, but where I wanted to put the bed ended up taking up too much room, so we had to design it to be in the corner. We returned the lights (sniff) and found another cool style that screamed for a built in headboard. Thank you David, it will be perfect.

Anyway, where I’m going with this is, hopefully two months will be enough time for us to finish these rooms. Kira has already visited us once and we didn’t have a guest room, then Andy visited and we still didn’t have a guest room, so I’m praying that we can have a guest room by Easter.

This was in the beginning, I’ll post some in between pictures as soon as I clean up some of the stuff lying around. I’m so excited!!!

Christmas Day…

For the past few years, we go to Karen’s for Christmas Day, eat a wonderful ham dinner, then go see a movie. This year turned out a little different. First, we still went to Karen’s, but she didn’t make a ham, which I was really looking forward to, instead, she made a roast. Now the roast was very good, but I just had my taste buds all set for ham. Oh well. Second, we didn’t go to a movie, because the theater doubled in price from the previous years and the only movie we wanted to see was at a bad time. So, we played Texas Holdem! What a hoot! I’m not much of a card player at any time and poker isn’t any different. I was sort of getting the hang of it though, but my Mom, my 90 year old Mom, she held her own. Ethan was helping us for awhile, but she really didn’t need all that much help. Figures huh?!

Later on that night, we had a bonfire on our new patio. David and Ethan shoveled off a big area and got the wood going. Andy made up a batch of his delicious Margaritas. Oh man those are good! A bunch of Ethan’s and Andy’s friends came over for several hours and talked and drank and generally had a great time. I really like all of their friends, they’re fun and nice and don’t make me feel like I’m an ‘old lady’. I wish I had friends like that when I was young. Heck, I wish I had friends like that now, but that’s another story.

Christmas Eve…

I hadn’t seen Andy in 7 months. I had to work on Christmas Eve day, so I didn’t get to pick him up at the airport, which was probably good, because his friends did something pretty cool. They were dressed up and had a sign with Andy’s name on it like they do in the movies for people who don’t have anyone they know to pick them up. Actually, I saw a guy at the Phoenix airport with a sign. Then they went out to breakfast. So I didn’t get to see him until our Christmas Eve church service was almost over. We were humming Silent Night and walking out of church with our lit candles and in the very back pew sat Andy, looking all cute and Andy like with his black wool jacket and scarf, little scruff on his chin, holding a candle and smiling. I blew out my candle in the Narthex, turned around, went back in church and gave him a hug. I told him he would probably be safe making a break for it. I guess I taught him right, because he waited a little bit longer before sneaking out. After a couple more hugs, we hung around a bit to have cookies and punch and to let some other people say Hi.

We got home and put together all the food and drinks while waiting for the others to stop by. We had hard and soft tacos and chips and salsa, cheese and crackers and of course cookies. Andy was disappointed that we had tacos and not prime rib, but we never have a big meal on Christmas eve, never had and probably never will. We have our big meal on Christmas Day!

We took our time chatting and eating, trying to waste time until Ethan got home from work. He was to get off at 8 pm, but it ended up being a bit later. Once he got home, we Skyped Kira and proceeded to open up presents.  Kira’s boyfriend John was with her at the time, so he got to meet all of us and see how strange we are, but then, aren’t all families strange? We had a really nice Christmas eve. We got to have Ethan at home, we got to have Andy back at home and we got to visit with Kira complements of technology.

Answer my cell phone???

I painfully learned a lesson today. You’ve heard people say, ‘What’s the use of having a cell phone if you never answer it?’ Ever since we’ve had a cell phone, my kids have asked me that question. I usually just sort of laugh it off, giving one excuse or another. Or I ignore the call or text, thinking that I will just call back or text back later. I just always assume that there is no real problem, and that they just want to tell me something they saw, or want. I never think that there is something wrong!

Well, last night Kira text me that she wanted to tell me about her trip to Sedona when she got off work at 9:30. I was really tired and I was already in bed and it was 9:30 my time, which meant I would need to stay awake another hour and then listen to her story. I told her I would be asleep by then (which I was) and that I would have my phone glued to me the next day. She said she would call me the next day.

I had some errands to run, and I had my phone turned on high. No call. I finished the errands, came home, changed and started working outside with my phone on high. No call. Now, on every other day, she would have already called me. I took a break from yard work to have some lunch and while eating I gave her a call. No answer, so I left a message. I finished lunch and went outside to continue working. I kept checking my phone to make sure I didn’t miss her call or text, and nothing! I called her again and left another message. I sent her a text. After several hours of this, I told Ethan about it and he tried calling. Nothing! Now I’m starting to get really nervous. If she rarely called or text, I would have thought she just didn’t feel like calling, or forgot all about it, but she calls and texts several times a day. This was just not like her. I finally quit working for the day and took a bath, trying her phone again. I even left a message on Facebook. Nothing. It was now time to leave for bells with David. I told him what was going on and that I was scared something bad had happened, and my next plan was to start calling Arizona hospitals. I was thinking all sorts of horrible things and near tears. We hung up and I was trying to get dried off and dressed when my phone rang. I thought it was David with some news…it was not.

It was Kira! Finally calling because she saw my text. My text that I had left hours ago. She had been out with a friend at a movie and had her phone turned to silent. Geez! I was angry and mad and relieved all at once. She was out having a good time and not dead, or kidnapped or in a hospital, admitted as a Jane Doe.

I told David that she had been out with a friend, and had her phone on silent and you know what he said????? ‘You have to let her go sometime’. MEN are such dolts!!! THAT was not why I was upset…I was upset because I was afraid she hurt or in trouble or worse yet, dead!

Lesson learned? Keep my phone near me, turned up loud enough that I can hear it when it’s sitting in my purse. Answer when they call, and return the texts. I can’t assume that a call or text may be unimportant, or routine when it could be something much, much, more! Thank God this time it was just a ‘New friend’.

1500 miles...

David and I spent over two hours on Skype talking to Andy and Kira tonight, and Ethan joined us for a while at the end. We got to do a three-way conference call. It was pretty cool. The unfortunate thing about this is that the conference calling isn't free. I'm not sure yet if we all have to pay for it, or if just one account is needed. I guess I'll have to check this out.
I google mapped the driving directions from Andy's apartment to the Phoenix Zoo and the miles they quoted me was 1570 miles. That is one heck of a long ways apart, but through the miracle of technology, we were all able to see one another. We were even able to take a screen snapshot, and I just may have to use it as our Christmas cards. Both kids took us on a tour of their apartments by walking their laptops around with the webcam capturing their everyday lives.
I really thought I was taking their absence quite well, considering that this is the first that Andy has lived away from home, and Kira and I did tons of things together when she was home. I realized that wasn't true two weeks ago at choir practice. We were singing a Christmas song, 'Gloria in Excelsis Deo' and I got to that line and couldn't sing anymore. I was immediately transported to one of the pews in the front of Parkway UCC, on Christmas Eve, standing with Andy to my right and Kira to my left and we were singing that song, and the lower part of my mouth started to quiver and I got tears in my eyes. Geez, I'm not certain that I will be able to sing any of the Christmas Carols. Thank God I don't have to sing 'O Holy Night', because even though I sang it as a solo several times, the duet that Kira and I sang was very, very special, not to mention, really, really fun to do. This will be a year of change for the Christmas Eve service. We have a new minister, and taking out 'O Holy Night' and maybe the pageant will be something totally different, which I think needs to happen. We'll come up with something quite special and beautiful and meaningful to give people peace and comfort. I'm looking forward to hopefully being able to brainstorm some ideas for a superb service.
Andy's plane arrives Christmas Eve morning and of course I will be at work. I won't get to see him until he walks into church that evening, unless of course, he stops by the hospital to say hi on his way home from the airport.
We plan on Skyping Kira Christmas Eve, if I had an iPhone, I could Skype the church service too, maybe Andy could!!

Baby feel...

I love the feel of a baby asleep on my chest, knees drawn up, hands curled into little fists, or maybe a thumb in their mouth, breathing in that snuffly way babies do. I love rubbing my hand over their soft head, the back of the neck ( a very comforting spot) down over their bony back. The smell of them after a bath, warm, soft, baby smell. There is nothing in life to compare to this feeling.

So sad...

My children are grown now and I'm happy with that, and I don't get the 'I want another baby' feeling anymore (good thing, because I'm way too old) but one day I was having pizza and soda at Target and people watching. I saw young mothers with small children in their carts leaving for home. I heard one little boy say in that cute little 3 yr old voice "Mommy, can we go to the park?" and she said "I'm sorry honey, we need to pick up your sister from school." His little voice was so sweet! The mothers talking to their children. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I would never again be pregnant, carrying a child in me, feeling it grow, roll around, poke it's foot out, get hiccups. I would never again give birth. I would never again nurse a baby in the wee hours. It was such a devastating feeling I just about started crying. My eyes filled with tears and the pizza got stuck because I couldn't swallow and my mouth did that weird turn down, quiver thing. I was miserable. I'm looking forward to Grandchildren. They won't be the same as having my own, but I think it will pretty darn special and exciting.