Thursday, March 1, 2012

Andy Baby...

I took a fair amount of photos of my children when they were young, but no where near what I would take if they were young now. It's so easy to take hundreds of photos in a very short time with digital cameras, and  even smart phones.
But one thing that makes film so cool is that you have to wait and be patient for days before you can see how your photo session went, sometimes a little patience is a good thing.
While I LOVE being in a dark room and manipulating my own photos, using that wonderful paper that gives such deep, dark blacks, the paper that makes the photo look so deep I could stick my finger in it, I love even more being able to get instant gratification and see my photos Now!. (for me, black and white is harder to achieve with digital than film, but then, I'm not very good with my camera).

This is my favorite photo of my second child, my oldest son Andy.
Notice all the texture in the photo...that's natural layering here. ha!
He's looks so sweet and innocent and vulnerable. Look at his fingers and toes and little up-turned nose his blue eyes and soft hair, his sweet mouth...sigh...sniff
I get a pain in my chest, a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes every time I look at this photo.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

A reason...

I believe with all my heart, there is a reason things happen the way they do.
I missed out on a chance at a new and different job this last summer,  a job that was posted and filled while I was on vacation.
I was very hurt and very angry, yet very happy for my friend that got a chance for a much needed change in her life.
Now after several months, I am quite content with the outcome. I have more knowledge and responsibility and ownership than I did while
we were job sharing. I can honestly say I'm happy with my job now.
Years ago, after only a little more that a year of marriage, my then husband decided he would rather be with someone other than me.
I was sure I would never survive, but being single again gave me the opportunity to take notice of a tall, blond haired man with a red beard,
who also took notice of me.
This man with the red beard and I have now been married for 25 years and have three fabulous children.
If I had never gotten a divorce, I would not have given birth to three wonderful children that have grown into the very
special people I am so very proud of. Thank you Mr. Redbeard.
I write this post because my lovely daughter who lives way, way too far away from me, has been dealt a lousy hand. She has come
face to face with the unfairness life sometimes chooses to dish out, and there is nothing I can do to help...except to listen, and believe in her.
I believe this unfairness has happened for a reason, a reason that neither of us is privy to. God has plans for her and they don't appear to
include what she was hoping for, and that will need to be okay, because God is in charge. We may think otherwise, but He is.
This is what I believe.
I believe there is something very wonderful just waiting...for her!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


I'm thinking...

It's about time that I pull out the long underwear.
An actual hat too, not just a headband.
My legs, front and back, were frozen by the end of our walk this evening.
We ended up cutting it short. tsk
That does no one any good at all.
Annie won't wear her booties. 
I guess I'll need to make her some.
Booties that are soft and bendable,
but also water repellent.
The ones I bought hurt her ankles,
she simply stops walking.
She's a little large to try and carry.

Minneapolis is home to me.
Phoenix, AZ is Kira
Springfield, MO is Andy

Thursday, December 1, 2011



I was reading a Martha Stuart magazine at work the other day and came across an article about teaching your children about being thankful (it was a Thanksgiving issue) by writing what you are thankful for on a cut-out of a leaf, then tacking it to a framed board. I mentioned it to a co-worker and she said that she made a paper tree and each day they would all write what they were thankful for and also one nice thing they did for someone on a leaf, then attach the leaves to the tree. By the time Thanksgiving arrived, they had a real full tree.
She said it went over so well, that they were going to try something similar for Christmas, by writing on paper rectangles, gluing them into a circle and attaching them together to make a chain. Her children are 3 and 5 (plus she's a cool mom!)
I was reading Stacey's blog , and she is doing Christmas Wednesdays with her two. They've already started by writing letters, drawing pictures and sending stickers to some friends that live far away. It didn't go as smoothly as the article in Martha Stuart, but they did it together.

So, I was wondering what I could do with my children when none of them live at home and two of them live in different states.
I could try to get them to post on my blog everyday, but then I thought...yeah, no, won't work.  Then, maybe they could text me something they are thankful for, or something they did for someone, or something they saw that made them feel the love, beauty, power of God. I'm thinking that if I want this to happen, I'm going to have to bug them relentlessly, and then I just might defeat the purpose of doing it in the first place.

I'm going to give it a try anyway, and I'll start it out.

Tonight, while driving to church for a meeting, I was at a stop light when I noticed part of the Minneapolis skyline in the distance. Now, I might be just the tiniest bit biased, but I think Minneapolis has one of the prettiest, coolest, just perfect skylines. I can't say that I've seen that many, but out of those that I have seen, none of them can hold a candle to Minneapolis.
When Andy was going to the Art Institutes International downtown, I would sometimes drive him to school on my way to work. Every morning the skyline looked different, some days there was a haze, or fog, or mist that surrounded the buildings part way up, other days the sun was just coming up and shining against the glass. There is one building where the top portion changes colors, another that is green, another an odd shape. That skyline always, always, makes me smile and I always make a comment about it when I drive by, to myself if I'm alone. I'm sure my husband is tired of hearing how awesome I think it is, but it's something I just can't hold in. I simply love it!!


By the way...none of these photos are mine, unfortunately. I googled Minneapolis skyline and these are just a few that showed up under images. Pretty awesome!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


When my youngest son moved out, nearly the first thing he said was that he wanted to get a dog. I tried to nonchalantly talk him out of it.

Dogs live a long time.
Dogs are expensive.
Dogs need shots.
Dogs need their teeth cleaned.
Dogs may not like other dogs.
Dogs may not be allowed to live in certain places.
Dogs can't be left alone for long periods.

He and his room mates were at the Humane Society looking around and had their hearts melt when they met a young Pit bull. He made sure he could touch the dog all over, put his fingers in his mouth, hold him on the floor, pick him up, all the normal things that people do to and with their pets. (or Should be able to do). He then called his sister, the zookeeper from the Phoenix Zoo, asking for some advice on whether he should get a dog or not. She tried very hard to talk him out of it. (her cat just had a urinary tract infection that cost her A LOT) Telling him how much work it would be and how expensive it could be. Well, no one has ever been able to talk my son out of anything he has mind set on.

Meet my new Grand dog, Kilo. (he won over both Annie and Oliver...he'll need to work on Little-Bit)
As I have been told, he and his room mate Dana have joint custody.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Andy was home for a visit last week for a few days, and now he's gone. He and Lauren flew to Springfield Mo., to find an apartment, then she stayed there and started work, while he flew back to Cincinnati to get her car so he could drive it home and deliver it to her parents (it was their car anyway). He got here Wednesday, November 2, and was busy every moment of the day, except for the time he was asleep, and flew back to Cincinnati on Saturday, November 5.
Lauren flew back also so they could finish packing all of their belongings into a POD to be stored for 6 months.  I have a feeling they worked like dogs all Monday to get things finished, ate one last dinner in the city they called Home for the last 17 months, then hopped in their cars and headed out on their new adventure at midnight that same night.
The apartment they found is fully furnished, Fully furnished, everything but their clothes, food and toiletries. Wow! They brought along their electronics too...of course.
I'm assuming he is frantically looking for a job, seeing as how he has lotsssss of bills to pay and no money coming in. I haven't called to find out how that is working out yet...I don't want to jinx anything.

I miss him.
I wish he was here in Minnesota.
I want him to be happy.
I'm not entirely certain he is. (that could just be the Mom in me thinking)
I miss him.

I've learned that it is very, very hard to not put my nose into the lives of my children. I'm sure they would think that I do,, (even though I really, really want to sometimes)
I do make suggestions, and offer stories, and alternatives though. Just so they can have other options to think about while they are wondering what the heck to do with their lives.

They are at a point in their lives where they don't have anything holding them anywhere, so if they get a chance to move to a different state or even country, or heck, even try a new career, they should go for it. Once they get married and have children, they won't be so easily able to move around.

My advice to my children...

Be happy
Enjoy your work
Don't be afraid to show your feelings
Be forgiving
Twirl in circles
Lay in the grass
Find animals in the clouds
Have sympathy
Have empathy
Take care of your body (you won't get another)
Be kind to yourself
Go for walks
Exercise home...with abandon
Hold hands with someone special
Take time off to do Nothing
Call your Mother
More your Father
Believe in God
Believe in ghosts
Believe in yourself
Just believe
Have fun
Be a child
Have confidence
Be happy

I love you all so much it hurts!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Empty nest…

It’s been a week now since my youngest left home. He had a chance to move in with a friend that just recently lost one of her room mates, and the price was perfect. He figured he would have a chance to live away from home and see how making rent and utility payments would be without having to do it all on his own. He had been talking about moving to Colorado, and I casually mentioned the fact that he had never lived away from home and wasn’t used to paying bills and managing his finances. I’m hoping this goes well, because he has been my one stubborn child, never wanting or allowing help. He always thought he could “do it” on his own. I’m having faith!! This vacancy happened at just the right time, and he seems to be very happy.  I’ll be happy as long as he pays me his car insurance and phone bill each month. I’m trying very hard to be cool and not bug him when I see how often he’s out with his friends, at restaurants and bars. (I keep track on Facebook).

I’m finding that I’m handling the “Empty Nest Syndrome” very well. As long as there are cell phones and Skype, so I can text, call or see them anytime I want, I can then survive until the next time I can see them in the flesh. Even when they were all living here, they seemed to be gone more than they were home, either at work, school, or out with friends.

Maybe someday, we will live within driving distance, short driving distance. Close enough to be able to get together for special times without having to make a flight reservation. At least they are all happy, healthy and doing fine.